LIFE UNBROKEN.
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I, and you are you:
Whatever we were to each other, we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name;
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone;
Wear no air of solemnity or sorrow;
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we enjoyed together;
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever
The household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect;
Without the ghost of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you,
For an interval, somewhere, very near
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Harry Scott-Holland
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I, and you are you:
Whatever we were to each other, we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name;
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone;
Wear no air of solemnity or sorrow;
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we enjoyed together;
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever
The household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect;
Without the ghost of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you,
For an interval, somewhere, very near
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Harry Scott-Holland
REMEMBER ME WHEN I AM GONE AWAY...
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti
WHAT IS DYING?
I am standing on the sea shore.
A ship at my side spreads her
white sails in the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I
stand and watch her until at last
she fades on the horizon.
Then someone at my side says
There, she has gone -
Gone where?
Gone from my sight - that is all
She is just as large in the mast,
hull and spars as she was
when she left my side....
The diminished size
and total loss of sight
is in me and not in her,
and just at the moment when
someone by my side says
"She is gone"
others take up the glad shout
"There she comes"
Bishop Brent
A ship at my side spreads her
white sails in the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I
stand and watch her until at last
she fades on the horizon.
Then someone at my side says
There, she has gone -
Gone where?
Gone from my sight - that is all
She is just as large in the mast,
hull and spars as she was
when she left my side....
The diminished size
and total loss of sight
is in me and not in her,
and just at the moment when
someone by my side says
"She is gone"
others take up the glad shout
"There she comes"
Bishop Brent
FROM A GRIEVING MOTHER TO THE SEA.
As a child, I scribbled on the sand that you are a liar,
Is this your revenge, kadalamma? *1
You robbed me of my child and made my whole life a lie, liar that you are.
What do you know of love?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli? *2
How can you know what I felt as I cuddled my new-born in my arms?
My heart leapt with every unsure step of his,
Each time he fell, I screamed inside, silently.
The day he came back from school with a nasty bruise,
I shed a tear when he was not looking.
His pain was mine, my heart beat to the rhythm in his little chest.
My child, my baby.
What do you know of love, kadalamma?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli?
I combed his hair, tucked him in bed,
Read him his favourite story a thousand times
Until his eyes slowly closed, taking him into his little dream world.
'Amma is not hungry', I used to say,
As I handed him my chocolate after he had eaten his.
My greedy boy, my little boy, he would yet feed me the last little piece.
He used to run from the school bus straight into my arms,
And I, in utter joy, smothered his face with kisses.
By why do I tell you this, what do you know of love?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli?
You wiped my words off the sand,
And now you've taken him too.
Sucked him in and threw him out. Lifeless.
Is this your revenge for my childhood play?
Now I am broken and battered, no more tears in my eyes.
I look around for strength and hear nothing but wails.
Can't they be strong just this once,
So I can cry, cry and cry.
What do you know of love, kadalamma?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli?
SUDHEESH BHASI (Fiance of Meera Vijayan, Jishnu's first cousin)
3rd November 2007
*1 "Kadalamma" in the Malayalam language may be literally translated as "Mother Sea."
*2 "Kalli", also a Malayalam word, means "liar", "cheat" or "thief."
Is this your revenge, kadalamma? *1
You robbed me of my child and made my whole life a lie, liar that you are.
What do you know of love?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli? *2
How can you know what I felt as I cuddled my new-born in my arms?
My heart leapt with every unsure step of his,
Each time he fell, I screamed inside, silently.
The day he came back from school with a nasty bruise,
I shed a tear when he was not looking.
His pain was mine, my heart beat to the rhythm in his little chest.
My child, my baby.
What do you know of love, kadalamma?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli?
I combed his hair, tucked him in bed,
Read him his favourite story a thousand times
Until his eyes slowly closed, taking him into his little dream world.
'Amma is not hungry', I used to say,
As I handed him my chocolate after he had eaten his.
My greedy boy, my little boy, he would yet feed me the last little piece.
He used to run from the school bus straight into my arms,
And I, in utter joy, smothered his face with kisses.
By why do I tell you this, what do you know of love?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli?
You wiped my words off the sand,
And now you've taken him too.
Sucked him in and threw him out. Lifeless.
Is this your revenge for my childhood play?
Now I am broken and battered, no more tears in my eyes.
I look around for strength and hear nothing but wails.
Can't they be strong just this once,
So I can cry, cry and cry.
What do you know of love, kadalamma?
Was I wrong in calling you kalli?
SUDHEESH BHASI (Fiance of Meera Vijayan, Jishnu's first cousin)
3rd November 2007
*1 "Kadalamma" in the Malayalam language may be literally translated as "Mother Sea."
*2 "Kalli", also a Malayalam word, means "liar", "cheat" or "thief."
FOR JISHNU'S FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Sometimes I watch them cry and wonder why,
Do they cry for my body or my soul?
If only they knew this line is merely the beginning,
This entire world of laughter and tears are but baby steps,
Into that which lies beyond.
Sometimes I wish I could have one more day,
Not for me, but for them.
Just to hold their hands and tell them goodbye,
That all is mirth and joy here, why do they cry?
They think I am gone,
But am I mere flesh and bones to disappear like that?
I won't lie, there was fear, there was panic,
I won't lie, there was desperation not to leave them like that.
But just for a minute and then I felt His loving hands.
He clutched me to His bosom and I felt more loved than ever before.
What words, what words shall I use to describe the joy that filled me then?
None, I realised and shed a tear.
Not for me, but for them.
No words to tell them that I am blessed.
No words to tell them that I am beyond all fear.
What do you know of life when you haven't seen beyond?
There is only one Truth where you live,
The bits of love - a parent's kisses, a beggar's blessings.
Here, there is but Love and nothing else.
Love that makes your mind reel, ah such joy!
Who comes here and chooses to leave?
Yet I feel pangs of pain,
When I look down and see those endless tears.
If only I could tell them, here bliss abounds,
And wipe away their silly fears,
Then in the midst of this wholeness, I can be whole again.
SUDHEESH BHASI (Fiance of Meera Vijayan, Jishnu's first cousin)
7th November 2007
Do they cry for my body or my soul?
If only they knew this line is merely the beginning,
This entire world of laughter and tears are but baby steps,
Into that which lies beyond.
Sometimes I wish I could have one more day,
Not for me, but for them.
Just to hold their hands and tell them goodbye,
That all is mirth and joy here, why do they cry?
They think I am gone,
But am I mere flesh and bones to disappear like that?
I won't lie, there was fear, there was panic,
I won't lie, there was desperation not to leave them like that.
But just for a minute and then I felt His loving hands.
He clutched me to His bosom and I felt more loved than ever before.
What words, what words shall I use to describe the joy that filled me then?
None, I realised and shed a tear.
Not for me, but for them.
No words to tell them that I am blessed.
No words to tell them that I am beyond all fear.
What do you know of life when you haven't seen beyond?
There is only one Truth where you live,
The bits of love - a parent's kisses, a beggar's blessings.
Here, there is but Love and nothing else.
Love that makes your mind reel, ah such joy!
Who comes here and chooses to leave?
Yet I feel pangs of pain,
When I look down and see those endless tears.
If only I could tell them, here bliss abounds,
And wipe away their silly fears,
Then in the midst of this wholeness, I can be whole again.
SUDHEESH BHASI (Fiance of Meera Vijayan, Jishnu's first cousin)
7th November 2007
NEGOMBO SUNSET.
It is sunset in Negombo beach *4
The rumbling sea rushes in
Wave after wave
Breakers foaming and frothing
like playful seahorses.
I sit and watch the orange sun
dip in the smoky, murky sky
Wave after relentless wave
Breaks and crashes into my torn desolate heart.
Is there no healing for this pain?
Will nothing stop these burning tears?
There, that golden sunrise in Gokarna
Was it these same breakers
That stealthily came from behind
And felled my precious son?
Tore him from my heart in fury
And watched him gasping his soundless screams
Sucked his noble spirit
And threw him on the crest of those crashing breakers.
Too sudden, too final.
The sea is calm tonight
Waves gently lapping on Negombo beach.
Are you watching us, Mon?
Are you singing with the angels tonight?
O. K. KOMALAM (Jishnu's maternal aunt)
23rd November 2007, 6 p.m. *4 Negombo beach runs along the Sunset Beach Hotel in Colombo, Sri Lanka, where we had a nightstop on our way back to Malaysia from Kerala, India.
The rumbling sea rushes in
Wave after wave
Breakers foaming and frothing
like playful seahorses.
I sit and watch the orange sun
dip in the smoky, murky sky
Wave after relentless wave
Breaks and crashes into my torn desolate heart.
Is there no healing for this pain?
Will nothing stop these burning tears?
There, that golden sunrise in Gokarna
Was it these same breakers
That stealthily came from behind
And felled my precious son?
Tore him from my heart in fury
And watched him gasping his soundless screams
Sucked his noble spirit
And threw him on the crest of those crashing breakers.
Too sudden, too final.
The sea is calm tonight
Waves gently lapping on Negombo beach.
Are you watching us, Mon?
Are you singing with the angels tonight?
O. K. KOMALAM (Jishnu's maternal aunt)
23rd November 2007, 6 p.m. *4 Negombo beach runs along the Sunset Beach Hotel in Colombo, Sri Lanka, where we had a nightstop on our way back to Malaysia from Kerala, India.
TO MOM AND DAD FROM HEAVEN.
Mom & Dad don't cry, 'cause God is holding my hand
and telling me everything is OK.
Mom & Dad, God said that I will never want for anything
And I will still feel your love all the way here.
Mom & Dad, you should see me, I am happy with God's other children.
Mom & Dad, guess who helps watch over us while we play?
They are God's Helping Angels!
Mom & Dad, I'm not afraid, my grandpa is here.
He came to me when it was dark and held my hands;
then we went to God's bright light,
where Angels were singing.
Mom & Dad, God said, If you feel sad, to remember this;
I'll be the gentle breeze that brushes your face,
the sun is my smile and the rain is me washing away your pain.
Mom & Dad, I have to go now. I send you all my love,
on the wings of an angel
Love from your son to you Mom and Dad
Contributed by MANOJ PALLAVUR.
and telling me everything is OK.
Mom & Dad, God said that I will never want for anything
And I will still feel your love all the way here.
Mom & Dad, you should see me, I am happy with God's other children.
Mom & Dad, guess who helps watch over us while we play?
They are God's Helping Angels!
Mom & Dad, I'm not afraid, my grandpa is here.
He came to me when it was dark and held my hands;
then we went to God's bright light,
where Angels were singing.
Mom & Dad, God said, If you feel sad, to remember this;
I'll be the gentle breeze that brushes your face,
the sun is my smile and the rain is me washing away your pain.
Mom & Dad, I have to go now. I send you all my love,
on the wings of an angel
Love from your son to you Mom and Dad
Contributed by MANOJ PALLAVUR.
VISIONS.
A tightness in my chest threatens to choke me.
Remembering him creates a panic.
A nameless fear, charging at me like a torpedo
Pursuing mercilessly
Until I force the dreadful thoughts out of my head.
But oh so brief is the reprieve!
Cursed and blessed am I for my memory.
Shake me hard
Tear me away now from my visions.
MEERA VIJAYAN(Jishnu's first cousin)
26th November 2007, 11:40 p.m.
Remembering him creates a panic.
A nameless fear, charging at me like a torpedo
Pursuing mercilessly
Until I force the dreadful thoughts out of my head.
But oh so brief is the reprieve!
Cursed and blessed am I for my memory.
Shake me hard
Tear me away now from my visions.
MEERA VIJAYAN(Jishnu's first cousin)
26th November 2007, 11:40 p.m.
DRY EYES.
I cry not in front of you.
Not because I love him less
but because the tears won't fall.
Are waterfalls the only way to mourn?
No one hears my silent screams at night.
None save the demons now living in my head.
No one sees the slits carved in my heart from
which ooze blood every second.
None, none at all.
They only see my dry eyes.
MEERA VIJAYAN (Jishnu's first cousin)
26th November 2007, 11:56 p.m.
Not because I love him less
but because the tears won't fall.
Are waterfalls the only way to mourn?
No one hears my silent screams at night.
None save the demons now living in my head.
No one sees the slits carved in my heart from
which ooze blood every second.
None, none at all.
They only see my dry eyes.
MEERA VIJAYAN (Jishnu's first cousin)
26th November 2007, 11:56 p.m.
THE LIVING DEAD.
What does it mean to be alive?
Eyes open and lungs sucking air,
hunger pangs and speech.
But for some,
amidst the moments of laughter,
heavy is the heart,
haunted are the dreams,
tormented the days.
Strange is the life of the living dead.
MEERA VIJAYAN (Jishnu's first cousin)
29th November 2007, 11:15 a.m.
Eyes open and lungs sucking air,
hunger pangs and speech.
But for some,
amidst the moments of laughter,
heavy is the heart,
haunted are the dreams,
tormented the days.
Strange is the life of the living dead.
MEERA VIJAYAN (Jishnu's first cousin)
29th November 2007, 11:15 a.m.
GOKARNA.
I have a pilgrimage to make
To Gokarna, to Kudle beach.
In the shifting wet sands
I will search for my son's
final footprints
As he walked that fatal morning.
Amidst the thunderous pounding waves
I will hear his joyful shouts
As he last played with his friends.
Let me stand and be bathed
in the salty sea spray
Let me feel the moist wind
that caressed his dark locks
Let the crying gulls
tell their tale of woe.
There, let me rant and rave
and scream till I can breathe again.
Let my salt tears mingle
with that Arabian sea
That was his last cradle.
There let me wash my pain
My grief, my deepest anguish
So I can stumble back to dreary life
once again.
O. K. KOMALAM (Jishnu's maternal aunt)
30th November 2007, 12:40 a.m.
To Gokarna, to Kudle beach.
In the shifting wet sands
I will search for my son's
final footprints
As he walked that fatal morning.
Amidst the thunderous pounding waves
I will hear his joyful shouts
As he last played with his friends.
Let me stand and be bathed
in the salty sea spray
Let me feel the moist wind
that caressed his dark locks
Let the crying gulls
tell their tale of woe.
There, let me rant and rave
and scream till I can breathe again.
Let my salt tears mingle
with that Arabian sea
That was his last cradle.
There let me wash my pain
My grief, my deepest anguish
So I can stumble back to dreary life
once again.
O. K. KOMALAM (Jishnu's maternal aunt)
30th November 2007, 12:40 a.m.
JUST ONCE MORE.
You sit by our side at dusk
to share our pain
to hold our hands.
Of him we speak
time and again.
Disbelief, sorrow,
even tears you shed.
But how brief it seems to me
How brief
before you speak of something else.
Do forgive my wandering thoughts.
Neither fame nor wealth
nor job nor travel
holds me now.
But if you would only speak of him again.
Just once more.
MEERA VIJAYAN(Jishnu's first cousin)
2nd December 2007, 2:10 a.m.
to share our pain
to hold our hands.
Of him we speak
time and again.
Disbelief, sorrow,
even tears you shed.
But how brief it seems to me
How brief
before you speak of something else.
Do forgive my wandering thoughts.
Neither fame nor wealth
nor job nor travel
holds me now.
But if you would only speak of him again.
Just once more.
MEERA VIJAYAN(Jishnu's first cousin)
2nd December 2007, 2:10 a.m.
ONE LAST TIME.
If I could see you one last time,
what would I say?
How will I find the words
to tell you I love you?
Will I carefully pick only the best,
or will the words come out
in a panicked torrent,
terrified you'll leave
before I've finished?
Will I stay silent and merely hug you tight,
tears streaming down my face,
or will I cling to you
and wail never to let you go?
What will you say to me?
Will you tell me what it's like where you are,
Will you say you want to stay?
Or will we say nothing at all
as I hurriedly feed you cake
and kiss you goodbye?
Oh to see you one last time,
Just one, last, last time...
MEERA VIJAYAN(Jishnu's first cousin)
12th December 2007, 11:40 p.m.
what would I say?
How will I find the words
to tell you I love you?
Will I carefully pick only the best,
or will the words come out
in a panicked torrent,
terrified you'll leave
before I've finished?
Will I stay silent and merely hug you tight,
tears streaming down my face,
or will I cling to you
and wail never to let you go?
What will you say to me?
Will you tell me what it's like where you are,
Will you say you want to stay?
Or will we say nothing at all
as I hurriedly feed you cake
and kiss you goodbye?
Oh to see you one last time,
Just one, last, last time...
MEERA VIJAYAN(Jishnu's first cousin)
12th December 2007, 11:40 p.m.
UNTITLED.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond that glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die...
American Indian verse
Contributed by MEERA VIJAYAN (Jishnu's first cousin)
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond that glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die...
American Indian verse
Contributed by MEERA VIJAYAN (Jishnu's first cousin)
NO PERSON IS EVER TRULY ALONE.
No person is truly alone
Those who live no more
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words,our hearts,
And what they did
And what they were
Becomes a part of all that we are
FOREVER
Contributed by MANOJ PALLAVUR
Those who live no more
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words,our hearts,
And what they did
And what they were
Becomes a part of all that we are
FOREVER
Contributed by MANOJ PALLAVUR
Thank you for your kind visit to this website and for your thoughts and prayers for the peace of Jishn’s soul.
My Jishnu’s soul rest in eternal peace and infinite bliss in the loving embrace of God.
May God bless you and your loved ones.
My Jishnu’s soul rest in eternal peace and infinite bliss in the loving embrace of God.
May God bless you and your loved ones.